Some time in early October I suffered from a back injury.
Personally I think it was a combination of things that lead to it (lack of core strength, carrying Charlie around and pushing through the pain while excercising), but when it hit I was devastated.
I had finally gotten into a rhythm, gym three times a week and walking every day with Charlie.
I felt limited in what I could do physically until my back was feeling better. I couldn't go to the gym, I could only do walks which had to be at a much slower pace and shorter. I discovered that I had to listen to my body now.
But what was interesting is that the realisation that I CAN'T exercise made me want to do it even more. What is that all about?
Was I listening to my saboteur again? On several occasions Andrew had to remind me that I wasn't exercising because I had to give my back a break so it would heal. Returning to exercise too soon could do more damage.
Fast forward to today.
I got up at 8:30, Charlie was in a good mood and my in-laws stayed the night. Today was my big return to exercise.
My cloths lay out on the chair, prepared enthusiastically the night before, however as I dressed this morning enthusiasm was completely gone.
I wasn't tired, I had slept well last night. My back wasn't sore. I didn't have to look after Charlie this morning as my in-laws were preparing to take him for a walk while I was at the gym. So I had no excuses.... but here I was contemplating going later, or not at all today.
And finally it dawned on me! My saboteur was at it again!
I had no excuse not to go this morning. But she was talking me out of it before I had even stepped out of bed.
All I could do is repeat: "Push through, you will feel fantastic after you go." and so I went. It was only once I entered through the doors that my inner saboteur stopped wining and complaining.
As I sit and write this, I keep telling my self that I have to remember to push through my feelings of doubt. I have to focus on what is on the other side of the workout.
And you know I left the gym after a 40 min cardio session feeling really good. I felt light on my feet and my mind was racing with ideas for a healthy break to regain my energy. Todays day all of a sudden had possibilities that if I hadn't done the exercise would have been much different.
I would have had breakfast and coffee would have turned the TV on and watched (waisted time) would have eaten some more (because it's lunch time, not because I'm hungry), I would have talked my self out of a walk with Charlie (because I'm too tired).
Instead after gym I played and danced with Charlie, I was inspired to cook a healthy lunch and dinner. I then took Charlie for a walk and now I'm sitting at my local cafe writing this post as Charlie sleeps in his pram.
Today was a success!!!!
I am now excited to see what tomorrow will bring.